Dipshitticus

by Trashdog

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1.
00:27
2.
00:47
3.
Trashdog I’m running for President in 2020 I’m running for President gonna save the country I’m running I’m running For the President’s Seat I’m running I’m running Please legalize me First order of business I’m gonna drink some wine Second order of business I’m gonna drink some more wine Third order of business Gonna drink a lil more Fourth order of business I’m gonna i’m gonna fix everything thats wrong with this country its time the average citizen finally had a president that supported YOU and the things that you do like gettin high and watchin youtube at 3am In my first day in office i’m going to enact the Radical Wealth Redistribution Act and personally take a sawn off shotgun to the house of every billionaire and literally take everything they have which I am then going to give every to US citizen in the form of a 10000 dollar a month stipend to do whatever the fuck they want to with Buy a jetski Buy two jetskis Ram them into each other I don’t know man Who gives a shit any more dude Just have a fuckin blast Trashdog I’m running for President in 2020 I’m running for President gonna legalize me I’m running I’m running For the presidency
4.
It’s labor day A holiday No school No rules My friends are here And my family We’re having such a ball Everybody was having some fun but then they looked my way when i started to run because I tried to get to the swimming pool quick but then i cut a fart when i started to slip And then I tried to balance and blew out my speedo and then i tumbled head first right into the cheetos While my loving parents just stood by and laughed and hit record On hi-8 tape Shipped out flat rate Whats that you say The telephone its abc And they asked for me We’re going to LA They all laugh when I fall on my head but I am just a kid and I’m tryin my best It kinda makes me sad that they’re laughing at me but then i’ve gotta clap when I’m on the tv When all the flashing lights started point at me and i can see my family startin to scream Thats when the host comes out with a novelty check and i’m like what whats that you say we’re gettin paid Guess that’s okay More than okay I could fall down again I could trip I could slip And tumble every day makin millions of dollars a year now that my fallin down has become a career i don’t know how i came to be truly revered or when my drug addiction became so severe but now i’m all strung out and im broke in LA and beggin people just so i can get paid but then the paparrazi are following me they called up TMZ with some gutting exposures after rehab i wrote up a book but now everybody just thinks im a crook When i was just a kid who was tryin his best my god i’m Just a kid and i’m tryin my best oh god i’m woops
5.
back up your shoes i’m something that you won’t wanna lose squirmin around you see me hanging out on the ground yeah i’m just a lil old snake riding in your wake just on my way by sliding till i’m caught by your eye you push through the dirt with hands that could never do hurt my bellies full on grass you can kiss my ass lets trip in the shed i’ll coil in the nest on your head but if i get swung i’ll bite you on the tip of your tongue cause i’m just an inch long bitch and i won’t be missed just for today i’d like to go on my way just a silly old snake twisting through your wake
6.
03:14
I’ve seen it all Ain’t a world where things get changed I’ve seen it all Everything just stays the same I know youre right But that doesnt mean that I’m gonna stop Yeah I know i’m wrong But that doesn’t mean that I’m gonna stop Cause I’m a waste A waster of the time Yeah I’m a waste On everybody’s mind Yeah I’m a waste a space A waste of living I’m a waste of space Disgrace Forget it I’m a waste of space Wastoid
7.
hol up
8.
If I catch a strange disease If I’ve got grave injuries If I constantly displease I approve the end of me If there’s nothing that will that work If I look like I’ve been hurt If I’m acting like a jerk Stick me straight into the dirt If I’m talking way too long I forgot what’s going on Or even if there’s nothing wrong Please feel free to say so long D.N.R.
9.
02:03
Wanna talk about a raw-ass vocation I post everything I do online Now I’ll never have to work at a subway Even though I still work at one part-time I am famous for my intonation Always caught under the nations eye When will he produce a new opinion Gotta find out what is on his mind Yeah I’m number one Online vidiot Trolls will comment I have brain deprivation Though I did have birth asphyxia They just cannot comprehend my brilliance Or they’re feminists with a deep state brain wash Haters laugh until they see my content Like my new unboxing video I’ve got 200 new subscriptions I’m number one Online Vidiot Grandma says that I should go outside - well screw her User retention is a race for time – Hup to it whats the point of doing nothing now Unless somebody can view it 100% brain usage Nothin to it Yeah I’m number one Online vidiot
10.
I see it there man Its plain as day When I was awake I was walking Whichever odd way Thats funny lil dude What else you got to say You drag me around through the town of someone else’s disgrace Well what about suzie What about john What about cindy Whats goin on I can’t believe that you would unload such a crock of shit The absolute unmitigated gall of horse manure Your drag me around through the town like its something demure What about cindy What about mom What about daddy What about guam What about vietnam What about suzie What about paul What about peter Whats goin on What about cindy What about guam What about vietnam
11.
If sinbad was my uncle we could have such a good time I could go to his place or he could come to mine We could watch a movie and drink old gas station wine If sinbad was my uncle I think that would be real fine Sinbad I hope this aint too weird I just hope you know that you’re revered I feel like you’re cool-ass dude And I just wanna be close to you If sinbad was my uncle we could have such a good time At family reunions I’d have someone on my side I could hit him up whenever he was on my mind If sinbad was my uncle he could be part of my life Sinbad I’m sorry if it’s strange My fixation problem’s strong today Are you the answer to my prayers? Or is it just cause you’re a millionaire?
12.
There's a wasp in my garage There's a wasp in my garage There's a wasp in my garage And I don't know what to do When I'm looking at the wasp I think it sees me too Now I’m trapped inside my house But I guess that's nothing new I'm just terrified of wasps And the fucked up things they do There's a wasp in my garage There's a wasp in my garage There's a wasp in my garage And I need to use my car Even if I tried to run I don't think I'll make it far I ain’t messin with a wasp Cause they’re really fuckin mean Wasps are faster than you think Yeah There's a wasp in my garage There's a wasp in my garage There's a wasp in my garage And I don’t know what to do When I think about the wasp I think it thinks me too I just wanna live my life Unencumbered by the thought That the lineage of wasps Will never fucking stop
13.
Livin in a cardboard hut of my own volition I prefer livin life where I can hide behind a partition I’ve got everything here that I could ever want Like a perfect shot of jaunty rich folks to taunt These average joe’s and mo’s all feel the same They know that I’m the only one to blame Help me Everybody hates the freak I am nuclear waste Destined to be out of place Why do people always have to stop and stare Is it cause I’m standing in my underwear Is it cause I hurl hate crimes at the unaware Is it cause I hate my life and I just don’t care How can I get across that you’re just doing me a favor Cause I’m never gonna make it out here so why don’t you just Help me Everybody hates a freak I am nuclear waste Destined to be out of place Someone Shoot the freak
14.
02:57
i know the world isn’t quite how it used to be and that’s why the weight comes down on me i see it changin before me in sudden ways But i haven’t got a thing to say with the weight of the world on your strawberry hair it’s a novel misplacement relive all your past mistakes on a daily basis you fucked up in a million ways on a daily basis I try so hard to fight off all the constant turns But sometimes there’s nothing there to learn Just sit back and laugh as the flow starts to whip around Enjoy when your feet lift off the ground with the weight of the world on your tiny little head it’s a wonder your here at all relive all your past mistakes on a daily basis fuck up in a million ways on a daily basis find new ways to be afraid on a daily basis forgettin that you grow with age on a daily basis
15.
01:30
16.
17.
Me Tarzan In Pain Waking up in the morning with a migraine This jungle’s Insane I need something just to get me through the day Super Action Ultra powered Slow Releasing Gel capsule 30 Units Over the counter I’m protected 24 Hours I don’t need your antique antidotes I just need a dose for one adult Within minutes I can feel results Deximexibarbatolathonezone I wanna dose right now It’s a brand new miracle drug Me Tarzan Feel drain Gonna meet with the investors end of day Reach forward Grab vine I need something that will penetrate my mind I don’t need your antique antidotes I just need a dose for one adult Gently gently coax it down your throat Deximexibarbatolathonezone I need a dose before I go and blow my brains away Oooh I think it’s starting to take effect I don’t need your antique antidotes I just need a dose for five adults Gently gently shove it down my throat Deximexibarbatolathonezone I need a dose or 10 at most to coast before I feel okay
18.
i’m in happy happy land where the happiness is canned my prescriptions one a day but the doc just up’d my dose to eight and i don’t know what to say because i thought i was okay and now i think i’m losing faith in everyth i’m in happy happy land And I feel like I’ve been scammed As to what I will agree Never seems to be what’s right for me And I don’t know what to say I’m getting better every day But when alone with my malaise It’s spread across me like mayonnaise It’s what you hear between the notes Cause the words get caught inside my throat If you were to ask why Would that seem so unkind If only I could speak my It’s what you hear It’s what you hear between the notes that counts Cause the words get caught inside my mouth In any case I’ll say Whatever I would say I struggle just to think some
19.
Big top loser You’re a clown Big top loser Skippin town Big top loser Get a grip Big top loser Full of spit Big Top loser You’re a git Big Top loser You should quit Big top loser Smell like butt Big top loser Time to shut the fuck up Big top loser You’re a fool Big top loser You ain’t cool Big top loser Sit and spin Big top loser Never win Big top loser Brings me down Big top loser Makes me frown Big top loser Burn in hell Big top loser Might as well just die already Big top loser You’re a dick Big top loser Eat a brick Big top loser Out in front Big top loser Captain chump Big top loser You’re a freak Big top loser Never speak Big top loser Got no friend Big top loser At the end
20.
21.
01:43
I’m having trouble concentrating I feel like my whole mind is fading There is a presence serenading My thoughts with their own narrating Left to right Front to back I am consumed with a brain attack Everything I’ve ever thought Overwritten with another thought Finally I get a grip Chance to think when the demon hits with Counter activity of hyperfixation on a subject not relevant to anything that interests me at all Everything that I have ever thought about in my entire life and then I have to think about it for another several years I’m having trouble imitating Someone that’s not disintegrating The demon always lies in waiting It’s notes extraneous and grating Every day I suffocate From problems that I fabricate I’m sure it’s very funny
22.
Alright The crime is done Detective in the streets Oh yeah The trials on The jury’s in the seats All rise Courts now in session All rise Here comes the judge All rise Courts now in session All rise I bang the gong And now we can think straight Alright The lawyers shrug The case has shit the sheets Oh my New evidence Is suddenly released All rise Courts now in session All rise It’s time to judge All rise Courts now in session All rise I bang the gong And the verdict is insane
23.
serpent’s eye on the eagles nest Life for death is the serpent’s quest close your eyes and hallucinate together Mission control come in to the shop whats poppin Is everything accounted for in terms of quarterly projections Activated almonds sit out for employees only Level up through contemplative obstacles of time Green smoke hashtag camel crush the competition Priority check for haters un-swag relaters Contact through text cannot be sent error sms Handler hot doggin take me back to the grill P-3-D-B-Q levels non existant to the rest For the 33st times this month hurt to own the real Assignment way past due for the whos who of sniffin glue Over slept and cannot stay for contentintal breakfast serpent’s eye on the eagles nest Life for death is the serpent’s quest close your eyes and hallucinate together 1600 hours work week preventative maintenance Target aft shield generator with full photonic spread Located in the back of the scrote throat man its dirty Mission same as the next reduce hex optronics Success is the same as the game of life to a professional Require master technicals for obstenant electricals Extraction of the mucus membrane i’m entitled to it Mark the third eye blind be kind rewind time for a minute 1306200200 mix Please keep the funk pocketed until the plane has landed Bring back the weight of console era think tanks Frito Lays Corn Chips and 4 bean dips serpent’s eye on the eagles nest Life for death is the serpent’s quest close your eyes and hallucinate together
24.
02:37
I just wandered in off the range And I can’t figure out why this place is so strange I see different patnas each day Yet I can’t find a single one to which I relate Cause i don’t like computers and i don’t watch tv the neon lights and laundromats are paralyzing me And everything inside of me is screaming i should leave Where’s a feller to hang his hat When every place he wanders in seems totally wack Where’s a cowpoke to raise a wife No i don’t think i’m cut out for big city life Cause i don’t like computers and i don’t watch tv Theyre mad at me for living here But they’re here same as me Where everyone’s a stranger and that’s including me Cause i don’t like computers and i don’t watch tv The worst mistake I ever made Was thinking I could flee Like I could leave the country When the country can’t leave me
25.
I have crash landed on an undiscovered planet I have dubbed this planet Thraxilio-264 in the name of our Great Leader Planet biome varies heavily from vegetation to ice dust Primary form of life appears to be bipedal humanoids who possess no great intellect I will assimilate effortlessly into their culture in order to learn more and to ultimately find a way to repair my shuttle craft and return to the homeworld Hopefully my logs will serve some future purpose to the scientific community Though my initial findings show that this planet and its inhabitants absolutely suck I have logged over 200,000 hours in astral projection Humans haven’t even mastered the ability to have a peaceful nights sleep Humans are even dumber than the Grombaliens of Tandex 6 And the grombaliens of tandex 6 are one of the stupidest species in the entire galaxy I am surprised that the average human has the mental faculties to take a shit Because every year that I have spent on this planet my IQ has been reduced by 5000 I have realized that there is no hope of fully repairing my shuttlecraft and am instead now preparing to use what little power is left to launch myself straight into the sun
26.
03:57
Angel carved from stone Step out into the light You can find a home In the middle of the night You’re a perfect being You’re a diamond in the sky You can pay for feeling But it only lasts one time And in the morning I don’t know what to say I’ve got a feeling that I made a mistake I think I’m dreamin but I’m lying awake What is it that has got me feeling this way I’ve got a secret and I’m dying with pain But when I try to think I lose it again I hate it so much man I’m going insane I wonder if they know I’ve got a wet brain It’s a twisted lemon Underneath the ol spotlight It’s the cost of living When you think you’re living right You’re a perfect being You’re a diamond in the sky You can hold that feeling But it’s only for tonight And in the morning I don’t know what to say I’ve got a feeling that I made a mistake I think I’m dreamin but I’m lying awake What is it that has got me feeling this way I’ve got a secret and I’m dying with pain But when I try to think I lose it again I hate it so much man I’m going insane I wonder if they know I’ve got a wet brain
27.
Take a moment look around For the babies on the ground There’s no reason there’s no why When the morning says goodbye Wicked fortune feel the sun Burn until you have to run Scorched belly tanned hide Way past when you should have died spider with dementia trapped in your own web wonder what goes on inside of your head spider with dementia uninspired museum Theres only so much left to do cept lay yourself to rest Telled story I bestow For the bible tells me so There submerged we stand entwined Somewhere drowning in the mind Strong and sturdy fat and old Somewhere secret growing mold There’s a picture on the wall Hide until you have to fall spider with dementia trapped in your own web The only sign of comforts inside of your head spider with dementia Carry on tiny being You haven’t seen the worst to come but you’re still out of bed Well I’ll say
28.
I get a kick out of airing my dirty laundry Nothing could thrill me as much as exposing myself I find it humbling cause I’ll never be A perfectly functioning human being I get a thrill out of airing my dirty laundry A public confession is perfectly fine by me To some it is troubling but I let it be Cause i think the whole world should be free E I don’t know what’s going on I can’t find my way in this world Away from the world Aieee Don’t be afraid of revealing yourself Cause its a powerful way to come to terms with your past And oversharing to a stranger could help But be aware that sometimes it could be considered a crime Life’s not a bout in which you’re fighting for first So don’t unfairly count yourself out when you’re down in the dirt Though honestly you’ve oughtta find your own way So maybe take advice from someone in control of their life Oh yeah

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released December 10, 2019

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