Dipshitticus

by Trashdog

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about

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released December 10, 2019

DGHD-59

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Track Name: Trash/Dog 2020
Trashdog
I’m running for President in 2020
I’m running for President gonna save the country
I’m running I’m running
For the President’s Seat
I’m running I’m running
Please legalize me

First order of business
I’m gonna drink some wine
Second order of business
I’m gonna drink some more wine
Third order of business
Gonna drink a lil more
Fourth order of business
I’m gonna

i’m gonna fix everything thats wrong with this country
its time the average citizen finally had a president that supported YOU
and the things that you do like gettin high and watchin youtube at 3am
In my first day in office i’m going to enact the Radical Wealth Redistribution Act and personally take a sawn off shotgun to the house of every billionaire and literally take everything they have
which I am then going to give every to US citizen in the form of a 10000 dollar a month stipend to do whatever the fuck they want to with
Buy a jetski
Buy two jetskis
Ram them into each other I don’t know man
Who gives a shit any more dude
Just have a fuckin blast

Trashdog
I’m running for President in 2020
I’m running for President gonna legalize me
I’m running I’m running
For the presidency
Track Name: America's Funniest Home Videos Theme Song
It’s labor day
A holiday
No school
No rules
My friends are here
And my family
We’re having such a ball

Everybody was having some fun but then they looked my way when i started to run
because I tried to get to the swimming pool quick but then i cut a fart when i started to slip
And then I tried to balance and blew out my speedo and then i tumbled head first right into the cheetos
While my loving parents just stood by and laughed and hit record

On hi-8 tape
Shipped out flat rate
Whats that you say
The telephone
its abc
And they asked for me
We’re going to LA

They all laugh when I fall on my head but I am just a kid and I’m tryin my best
It kinda makes me sad that they’re laughing at me but then i’ve gotta clap when I’m on the tv
When all the flashing lights started point at me and i can see my family startin to scream
Thats when the host comes out with a novelty check and i’m like what

whats that you say
we’re gettin paid
Guess that’s okay
More than okay
I could fall down again
I could trip I could slip
And tumble every day

makin millions of dollars a year now that my fallin down has become a career
i don’t know how i came to be truly revered or when my drug addiction became so severe
but now i’m all strung out and im broke in LA and beggin people just so i can get paid but then the paparrazi are following me they called up TMZ with some gutting exposures
after rehab i wrote up a book but now everybody just thinks im a crook
When i was just a kid who was tryin his best my god i’m
Just a kid and i’m tryin my best
oh god i’m
woops
Track Name: Inch Long Bitch
back up your shoes
i’m something that you won’t wanna lose
squirmin around
you see me hanging out on the ground

yeah i’m just a lil old snake
riding in your wake

just on my way by
sliding till i’m caught by your eye
you push through the dirt
with hands that could never do hurt

my bellies full on grass
you can kiss my ass

lets trip in the shed
i’ll coil in the nest on your head
but if i get swung
i’ll bite you on the tip of your tongue

cause i’m just an inch long bitch
and i won’t be missed

just for today
i’d like to go on my way
just a silly old snake
twisting through your wake
Track Name: Wastoid
I’ve seen it all
Ain’t a world where things get changed

I’ve seen it all
Everything just stays the same

I know youre right
But that doesnt mean that I’m gonna stop

Yeah I know i’m wrong
But that doesn’t mean that I’m gonna stop

Cause I’m a waste
A waster of the time
Yeah I’m a waste
On everybody’s mind
Yeah I’m a waste a space
A waste of living
I’m a waste of space
Disgrace
Forget it
I’m a waste of space

Wastoid
Track Name: Technically Difficult
hol up
Track Name: Do Not Resuscitate
If I catch a strange disease
If I’ve got grave injuries
If I constantly displease
I approve the end of me

If there’s nothing that will that work
If I look like I’ve been hurt
If I’m acting like a jerk
Stick me straight into the dirt

If I’m talking way too long
I forgot what’s going on
Or even if there’s nothing wrong
Please feel free to say so long

D.N.R.
Track Name: Vidiot
Wanna talk about a raw-ass vocation
I post everything I do online
Now I’ll never have to work at a subway
Even though I still work at one part-time

I am famous for my intonation
Always caught under the nations eye
When will he produce a new opinion
Gotta find out what is on his mind

Yeah
I’m number one
Online vidiot

Trolls will comment I have brain deprivation
Though I did have birth asphyxia
They just cannot comprehend my brilliance
Or they’re feminists with a deep state brain wash

Haters laugh until they see my content
Like my new unboxing video
I’ve got 200 new subscriptions

I’m number one
Online Vidiot

Grandma says that I should go outside - well screw her
User retention is a race for time – Hup to it
whats the point of doing nothing now
Unless somebody can view it
100% brain usage
Nothin to it

Yeah
I’m number one
Online vidiot
Track Name: What About Guam?
I see it there man
Its plain as day
When I was awake I was walking
Whichever odd way
Thats funny lil dude
What else you got to say
You drag me around through the town of someone else’s disgrace

Well what about suzie
What about john
What about cindy
Whats goin on

I can’t believe that you would unload such a crock of shit
The absolute unmitigated gall of horse manure
Your drag me around through the town like its something demure

What about cindy
What about mom
What about daddy
What about guam
What about vietnam

What about suzie
What about paul
What about peter
Whats goin on
What about cindy
What about guam
What about vietnam
Track Name: Ode to Sinbad
If sinbad was my uncle we could have such a good time
I could go to his place or he could come to mine
We could watch a movie and drink old gas station wine
If sinbad was my uncle I think that would be real fine

Sinbad I hope this aint too weird
I just hope you know that you’re revered
I feel like you’re cool-ass dude
And I just wanna be close to you

If sinbad was my uncle we could have such a good time
At family reunions I’d have someone on my side
I could hit him up whenever he was on my mind
If sinbad was my uncle he could be part of my life

Sinbad I’m sorry if it’s strange
My fixation problem’s strong today
Are you the answer to my prayers?
Or is it just cause you’re a millionaire?
Track Name: Wasp in My Garage
There's a wasp in my garage
There's a wasp in my garage
There's a wasp in my garage
And I don't know what to do
When I'm looking at the wasp
I think it sees me too
Now I’m trapped inside my house
But I guess that's nothing new
I'm just terrified of wasps
And the fucked up things they do

There's a wasp in my garage
There's a wasp in my garage
There's a wasp in my garage
And I need to use my car
Even if I tried to run
I don't think I'll make it far
I ain’t messin with a wasp
Cause they’re really fuckin mean
Wasps are faster than you think

Yeah

There's a wasp in my garage
There's a wasp in my garage
There's a wasp in my garage
And I don’t know what to do
When I think about the wasp
I think it thinks me too
I just wanna live my life
Unencumbered by the thought
That the lineage of wasps
Will never fucking stop
Track Name: Shoot the Freak
Livin in a cardboard hut of my own volition
I prefer livin life where I can hide behind a partition
I’ve got everything here that I could ever want
Like a perfect shot of jaunty rich folks to taunt
These average joe’s and mo’s all feel the same
They know that I’m the only one to blame

Help me
Everybody hates the freak
I am nuclear waste
Destined to be out of place

Why do people always have to stop and stare
Is it cause I’m standing in my underwear
Is it cause I hurl hate crimes at the unaware
Is it cause I hate my life and I just don’t care
How can I get across that you’re just doing me a favor
Cause I’m never gonna make it out here so why don’t you just

Help me
Everybody hates a freak
I am nuclear waste
Destined to be out of place

Someone
Shoot the freak
Track Name: Daily Basis
i know the world isn’t quite how it used to be
and that’s why the weight comes down on me
i see it changin before me in sudden ways
But i haven’t got a thing to say

with the weight of the world
on your strawberry hair
it’s a novel misplacement

relive all your past mistakes on a
daily basis

you fucked up in a million ways on a
daily basis

I try so hard to fight off all the constant turns
But sometimes there’s nothing there to learn
Just sit back and laugh as the flow starts to whip around
Enjoy when your feet lift off the ground

with the weight of the world
on your tiny little head
it’s a wonder your here at all

relive all your past mistakes on a
daily basis

fuck up in a million ways on a
daily basis

find new ways to be afraid on a
daily basis

forgiven as you grow with age on a
daily basis
Track Name: Deximexibarbatolatholazone
Me Tarzan
In Pain
Waking up in the morning with a migraine

This jungle’s
Insane
I need something just to get me through the day

Super Action
Ultra powered

Slow Releasing
Gel capsule

30 Units
Over the counter

I’m protected
24 Hours

I don’t need your antique antidotes
I just need a dose for one adult
Within minutes I can feel results
Deximexibarbatolathonezone
I wanna dose right now

It’s a brand new miracle drug

Me Tarzan
Feel drain
Gonna meet with the investors end of day

Reach forward
Grab vine
I need something that will penetrate my mind

I don’t need your antique antidotes
I just need a dose for one adult
Gently gently coax it down your throat
Deximexibarbatolathonezone
I need a dose before I go and blow my brains away

Oooh I think it’s starting to take effect

I don’t need your antique antidotes
I just need a dose for five adults
Gently gently shove it down my throat
Deximexibarbatolathonezone
I need a dose or 10 at most to coast before I feel okay
Track Name: Between the Notes
i’m in happy happy land
where the happiness is canned
my prescriptions one a day
but the doc just up’d my dose to eight
and i don’t know what to say
because i thought i was okay
and now i think i’m losing faith in everyth

i’m in happy happy land
And I feel like I’ve been scammed
As to what I will agree
Never seems to be what’s right for me
And I don’t know what to say
I’m getting better every day
But when alone with my malaise
It’s spread across me like mayonnaise

It’s what you hear between the notes
Cause the words get caught inside my throat
If you were to ask why
Would that seem so unkind
If only I could speak my

It’s what you hear

It’s what you hear between the notes that counts
Cause the words get caught inside my mouth
In any case I’ll say
Whatever I would say
I struggle just to think some
Track Name: Big Top Loser
Big top loser
You’re a clown
Big top loser
Skippin town
Big top loser
Get a grip
Big top loser
Full of spit
Big Top loser
You’re a git
Big Top loser
You should quit
Big top loser
Smell like butt
Big top loser
Time to shut the fuck up

Big top loser
You’re a fool
Big top loser
You ain’t cool
Big top loser
Sit and spin
Big top loser
Never win
Big top loser
Brings me down
Big top loser
Makes me frown
Big top loser
Burn in hell
Big top loser
Might as well just die already

Big top loser
You’re a dick
Big top loser
Eat a brick
Big top loser
Out in front
Big top loser
Captain chump
Big top loser
You’re a freak
Big top loser
Never speak
Big top loser
Got no friend
Big top loser
At the end
Track Name: ADHDEMON
I’m having trouble concentrating
I feel like my whole mind is fading
There is a presence serenading
My thoughts with their own narrating

Left to right
Front to back
I am consumed with a brain attack
Everything
I’ve ever thought
Overwritten with another thought
Finally
I get a grip
Chance to think when the demon hits with
Counter activity of hyperfixation on a subject not relevant to anything that interests me at all
Everything that I have ever thought about in my entire life and then I have to think about it for another several years

I’m having trouble imitating
Someone that’s not disintegrating
The demon always lies in waiting
It’s notes extraneous and grating

Every day I suffocate
From problems that I fabricate
I’m sure it’s very funny
Track Name: Courtroom Drama
Alright
The crime is done
Detective in the streets
Oh yeah
The trials on
The jury’s in the seats

All rise
Courts now in session
All rise
Here comes the judge
All rise
Courts now in session
All rise
I bang the gong
And now we can think straight

Alright
The lawyers shrug
The case has shit the sheets
Oh my
New evidence
Is suddenly released

All rise
Courts now in session
All rise
It’s time to judge
All rise
Courts now in session
All rise
I bang the gong
And the verdict is insane
Track Name: Sleeper Agent
serpent’s eye on the eagles nest
Life for death is the serpent’s quest
close your eyes and hallucinate together

Mission control come in to the shop whats poppin
Is everything accounted for in terms of quarterly projections
Activated almonds sit out for employees only
Level up through contemplative obstacles of time
Green smoke hashtag camel crush the competition
Priority check for haters un-swag relaters
Contact through text cannot be sent error sms
Handler hot doggin take me back to the grill
P-3-D-B-Q levels non existant to the rest
For the 33st times this month hurt to own the real
Assignment way past due for the whos who of sniffin glue
Over slept and cannot stay for contentintal breakfast

serpent’s eye on the eagles nest
Life for death is the serpent’s quest
close your eyes and hallucinate together

1600 hours work week preventative maintenance
Target aft shield generator with full photonic spread
Located in the back of the scrote throat man its dirty
Mission same as the next reduce hex optronics
Success is the same as the game of life to a professional
Require master technicals for obstenant electricals
Extraction of the mucus membrane i’m entitled to it
Mark the third eye blind be kind rewind time for a minute
1306200200 mix
Please keep the funk pocketed until the plane has landed
Bring back the weight of console era think tanks
Frito Lays Corn Chips and 4 bean dips

serpent’s eye on the eagles nest
Life for death is the serpent’s quest
close your eyes and hallucinate together
Track Name: Cowboy in NY
I just wandered in off the range
And I can’t figure out why this place is so strange
I see different patnas each day
Yet I can’t find a single one to which I relate

Cause i don’t like computers
and i don’t watch tv
the neon lights and laundromats
are paralyzing me
And everything inside of me
is screaming i should leave

Where’s a feller to hang his hat
When every place he wanders in seems totally wack
Where’s a cowpoke to raise a wife
No i don’t think i’m cut out for big city life

Cause i don’t like computers
and i don’t watch tv
Theyre mad at me for living here
But they’re here same as me
Where everyone’s a stranger
and that’s including me

Cause i don’t like computers
and i don’t watch tv
The worst mistake I ever made
Was thinking I could flee
Like I could leave the country
When the country can’t leave me
Track Name: My Life as an Alien
I have crash landed on an undiscovered planet
I have dubbed this planet Thraxilio-264 in the name of our Great Leader
Planet biome varies heavily from vegetation to ice dust
Primary form of life appears to be bipedal humanoids who possess no great intellect
I will assimilate effortlessly into their culture in order to learn more
and to ultimately find a way to repair my shuttle craft and return to the homeworld
Hopefully my logs will serve some future purpose to the scientific community
Though my initial findings show that this planet and its inhabitants absolutely suck

I have logged over 200,000 hours in astral projection
Humans haven’t even mastered the ability to have a peaceful nights sleep
Humans are even dumber than the Grombaliens of Tandex 6
And the grombaliens of tandex 6 are one of the stupidest species in the entire galaxy
I am surprised that the average human has the mental faculties to take a shit
Because every year that I have spent on this planet my IQ has been reduced by 5000
I have realized that there is no hope of fully repairing my shuttlecraft
and am instead now preparing to use what little power is left to launch myself straight into the sun
Track Name: Wet Brain
Angel carved from stone
Step out into the light
You can find a home
In the middle of the night
You’re a perfect being
You’re a diamond in the sky
You can pay for feeling
But it only lasts one time

And in the morning I don’t know what to say
I’ve got a feeling that I made a mistake
I think I’m dreamin but I’m lying awake
What is it that has got me feeling this way
I’ve got a secret and I’m dying with pain
But when I try to think I lose it again
I hate it so much man I’m going insane
I wonder if they know I’ve got a wet brain

It’s a twisted lemon
Underneath the ol spotlight
It’s the cost of living
When you think you’re living right
You’re a perfect being
You’re a diamond in the sky
You can hold that feeling
But it’s only for tonight

And in the morning I don’t know what to say
I’ve got a feeling that I made a mistake
I think I’m dreamin but I’m lying awake
What is it that has got me feeling this way
I’ve got a secret and I’m dying with pain
But when I try to think I lose it again
I hate it so much man I’m going insane
I wonder if they know I’ve got a wet brain
Track Name: Spider With Dementia
Take a moment look around
For the babies on the ground
There’s no reason there’s no why
When the morning says goodbye

Wicked fortune feel the sun
Burn until you have to run
Scorched belly tanned hide
Way past when you should have died

spider with dementia
trapped in your own web
wonder what goes on inside of your head
spider with dementia
uninspired museum
Theres only so much left to do cept lay yourself to rest

Telled story I bestow
For the bible tells me so
There submerged we stand entwined
Somewhere drowning in the mind

Strong and sturdy fat and old
Somewhere secret growing mold
There’s a picture on the wall
Hide until you have to fall

spider with dementia
trapped in your own web
The only sign of comforts inside of your head
spider with dementia
Carry on tiny being
You haven’t seen the worst to come but you’re still out of bed
Well I’ll say
Track Name: Dirty Laundry
I get a kick out of airing my dirty laundry
Nothing could thrill me as much as exposing myself
I find it humbling cause I’ll never be
A perfectly functioning human being

I get a thrill out of airing my dirty laundry
A public confession is perfectly fine by me
To some it is troubling but I let it be
Cause i think the whole world should be free
E

I don’t know what’s going on
I can’t find my way in this world
Away from the world
Aieee

Don’t be afraid of revealing yourself
Cause its a powerful way to come to terms with your past
And oversharing to a stranger could help
But be aware that sometimes it could be considered a crime
Life’s not a bout in which you’re fighting for first
So don’t unfairly count yourself out when you’re down in the dirt
Though honestly you’ve oughtta find your own way
So maybe take advice from someone in control of their life
Oh yeah

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